“I am the Crone. I feel my way along paths following the energy and warmth that others have placed here. Trusting the dark, I am guided not by light, but by the flowing movements I sense. I am like the water that follows, without sight or foreknowledge, the ancient river’s channel.”

The above quote is from Susun Weed, one of my favorite menopause transformation authors. (New Menopausal Years: The Wise Woman Way

I have been thinking about water recently and its influences on me. I am a fond proponent of feng shui and the use of the elements to create balance in our environments. I am also in the process of rearranging our whole house. We live in a historic 1895 home and for the last 2 1/2 years have been living in the owners quarters upstairs and operating the rest of the house as a B & B. Now we are moving from the upstairs which is a quaint, rustic attic space with all knotty pine (floors, walls, ceiling-all pine!) into the lower level which is 10 ft ceilings and touches of elegant Victorian styling….quite a shift!

What was interesting was that I was not finding ‘room’ for many things and in particular just did not feel inclined to bring down any of my extensive basket collection. I am notorious for piling things into baskets! Other ‘earthy’ type things just didn’t seem to want to come, like I just did not need the wood and earth elements anymore or had too much of it. My feng shui instincts said, hmm, water element…you need more water element! And it is no coincidence that we have been very much in drought mode here in Arkansas for months.

Now less than a week after this moving project and my awareness of water qualities lacking in my environment we are being deluged with daily rains! Yeah, glorious rain - all of nature is lapping it up, the frogs are ecstatic, the pond is full again so the fish are happy, and the green of the grass and newly leafed trees is breathtaking. It seems all of nature is in flow again. And I, settling into my new home environment, feel again the movement within, a sense of more spaciousness and nurturing flow within, guiding me in the direction of my desires.

Generally as women reach menopause age their life becomes quite a bit simpler and choices and decisions come with more ease. But for many women, old patterns hold on tight and the inner work of connecting with their authentic self and releasing old beliefs and ways of being takes a few years at least.

Most of my coaching clients decide to try coaching to reach some specific goal or end result, they already have an idea of what it is they really want - they just feel stuck in some way. On the other hand, I have had a few clients that really can’t get in touch with what it is they are looking for, what that illusive happiness or fulfillment might be. In both cases, I highly recommend an exercise to uncover what it is that they are tolerating in their life.

What are the numerous things that you ‘put up with’ day after day, year after year? How have these tolerations road-blocked you and sapped your energy and passion?

You have probably heard the ‘positive attitude’ question posed: If you could not possibly fail, what would you set out to accomplish? Maybe it works for some people afraid of failure. But I sense that it is more common for women at menopause age to fear success, of being GREAT, being POWERFUL.

All the positive talk and affirmations in the world can not help someone who is so stressed by their ‘tolerations’ and so void of energy because of all the ‘pretending’ in their lives. Some things will need to drop away to make room for the forward movement. So maybe you would like to do an assessment - make a list of all the things that you are tolerating!

I invite you to share some of your insights - add your list or other thoughts on this process.