Wants and Don’t Wants - Do You Know?

By Cynthia Morin

How good are you at asking for what you want in life? Hmm, this is probably not a skill you have really assessed yourself on, as on a scale of 1-10.

Before you can ASK for what you want, you will need to know what IT IS you really want! Do you know? Can we get real for a moment? On a scale of 1-10 how well do you know who you are, where you’re going and what you need to get there?

It is said that if we don’t know where we are going, it is because we don’t know where we are now. So it is not surprising that discovering what you want begins with looking at what you don’t want. Most of us find the first step easy—make a list of Don’t Wants.

Next you take each Don’t Want and translate it into real desire. So you don’t want to be in debt— let’s get past the focus on ‘debt’ and translate that into a positive want. If debt were not looming over you, what would come next? Perhaps a sigh of relief, a sense of freedom from struggle—but what possibility has the new space opened up?

Believe me, you will fill that space—either with new debt or what? People don’t want to get out of debt really, they want to arrive at a place of power to freely express their real desires. So let’s cut to the chase—what is it your heart most wants?

What would an authentic life look like for you? Are you wanting to travel? Go back to school? Start your own business or begin a new art project? OK, that’s a step in the right direction. But what is the inner essence, the passion behind these ‘wants’? What does traveling mean to you? A sense of freedom, adventure, connecting with other cultures? What is the reason, the ‘why’ of your desire? Why go back to school? Why start your own business? Why build a 12 foot sculpture?

The answers to these questions are the real “wants” in your life right now – and quess what! You can begin right now to have exactly what you want! Next step…fulfillment versus happiness—the journey not the destination.